It's Okay to Feel: Breaking the Stigma Around Mental Health in Asian Communities

Growing up in an Asian household, we learned early on that emotions were something to be concealed or hidden. Feeling sadness, anxiety, fear, worry, or anger was often seen as weak-willed or a personal flaw. We were told to “get over it,” “don’t be so sensitive,” or “keep it to yourself.” Instead of being met with patience, validation, empathy, or compassion, our feelings were often rationalized or dismissed.

In many Asian cultures, mental health is heavily stigmatized, reflecting poorly on family reputation and influencing perceptions of an individual’s suitability for marriage. This stigma often prevents people from seeking professional help, leaving many to cope alone rather than access the support they need (Leong, F. T. L., & Lau, A. S., 2001).

Understanding What It Means to Feel

Being in an environment where emotions are seen as “bad” can make it difficult to acknowledge and accept our own feelings. We may learn to suppress our emotions to keep the peace or avoid burdening others. Some people grow up in families where they never saw their parents express emotions, so they never learned how to because they were never taught how to be in tune with their own feelings.

We become experts at holding everything in, appearing strong, staying composed, and tying our worth to our achievements. Beneath that composure, we often feel disconnected, unseen, isolated, easily angered, or misunderstood. Emotions are not something to fear or hide; they are something to honor. Feeling is an essential part of being human.

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Noticing, Not Avoiding

Feeling our emotions fully means allowing ourselves to experience them without judgment. It means feeling sadness without pushing it away, feeling fear or anxiety instead of distracting from it, and sitting with grief without letting it consume us.

Avoiding emotions might feel safer in the short term, but over time it can create tension, disconnection, and a sense of being out of alignment with our true selves. When we learn to face our situations more intentionally, we give ourselves the chance to understand our needs, respond to our experiences authentically, and cultivate deeper self-compassion.

What it Means to Notice

Noticing our emotions is about pausing long enough to really observe what we’re feeling and where it shows up in the body. Sometimes we might not fully understand what’s happening within ourselves when we feel sad, angry, or fearful. Our bodies often give us clues even without full consent. For example, anxiety in the shoulders, a clenching jaw, or a heavy chest can signal underlying emotions like stress, fear, or sadness. When we pay attention in this way, we create a bridge between our inner experiences and our external awareness, allowing us to respond thoughtfully rather than react automatically. This awareness is the first step toward understanding ourselves and caring for our emotional wellbeing.

Reconnecting with Yourself in Therapy

In therapy, feeling your emotions is a felt-sense experience that requires slowing down rather than rushing. Because we haven’t had a lot of practice with this, feeling our emotions can feel unsafe or uncomfortable. It’s crucial that the process of reconnecting with ourselves be gentle, slow, and intentional. Therapy gives space for unlearning the belief that emotions are “bad” or need to be fixed, and instead, it helps us learn how to tune in, notice, and respond to your feelings in a safe and compassionate way.

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Ways to gently explore your emotions

  • Somatic techniques to help expand your window of tolerance and feel more regulated
  • Exploring core beliefs that shape how you respond to emotions
  • Working with different parts of yourself, including protective or wounded parts
  • Gentle awareness of bodily sensations to connect with what your body is telling you
  • Cultivating compassion toward yourself and your external experiences

At Wei Counselling, we provide trauma-informed and culturally responsive support, meeting you where you are and moving at a pace that feels right for you. If you’re curious about what working together might feel like, you can book a free 20-minute consultation to connect and explore how we can work together in a safe, compassionate space.

REFERENCES

Leong, F. T. L., & Lau, A. S. (2001). Cultural factors influencing the mental health of Asian Americans. Applied and Preventive Psychology, 10(4), 1–22. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC1071736/